2/8/12 Corozal, Belize...Interestingly, as I approach closer to my date for leaving this trip behind, I feel both anxious to go, and sad to be leaving...but I have less patience for writing this log, and none at the moment for working on my book (see below)...I just seem to be able to keep tying up loose ends...don't want to visit new places, barely want to visit one's I've been to already.. . I think I'm basically done...even though I 've got about 2 weeks to go...I wish I was going home, and it will be some effort to walk myself through these next couple of weeks...so I made this trip too long by about a month....I'll have to remember that! Still, a month ago I didn't know that...and I think I would have felt more regret if I'd had to get on a plane then...now, I feel how I've exceeded my limits here...and am anticipating leaving for home with eagerness! And now I know my current level of time limitation for being away from home...whereas before this, I didn't! I used to be able to be gone for months and years at a time...and it was after all, about 15 years since I took any kind of trip like this! So good learning!
1/14/12 Lake Bacalar...I`ve been thinking I want to write a `handbook`about painting..Chapters that occur to me are things like my philosophy or stance, ways to learn to draw, sic. paint, materials, for watercolors and oils, including paper, paint, brushes. Here`s an example of the philosophy part...though I seem to do my best thinking about all of this as I am dropping off to sleep...Basically, I believe that anyone/everyone can learn to paint/draw to their satisfaction....it just takes practice. Lots of practice! And a few tips. But for people who`s main learning style is `visual`(as differentiated from either àudial`or kinetic learning styles), the ability to practice a so-called `plastic medium` can bring a kind of satisfaction that little else can supply.
I also believe that anything can be an art form...it really depends on the amount of expertise one brings to any specific endeavor...there are plumbers who`s plumbing is at the level of art. But the art form I know best is painting...so I`ll confine myself to that and you can just know that at the level of philosophy, you can substitute anything else at which you have an amassed amount of expertise. And remember! Expertise transfers! That is to say, if you are an expert at anything, it will be easier for you to acquire expertise at anything else, however seemingly different, because you already understand the elements necessary to acquire expertise, and at some basic level, those are similar enough to be the `same`.
Do not read this first unless you want to
I have been painting all my life. I was `discovered`at the age of six and given the opportunity at that early age to begin to paint in oils. When I was thirteen I was painting in watercolors and selling my work. I am now in my seventieth year, and whatever else has happened to me throughout my life, I have always been painting...so I`ve had lots of practice, and lots of time to experiment with all kinds of avenues(internal)/mediums (external) involved with plastic art forms. Nowadays, I experience painting as meditation, a devotional act...but I know that all my life, painting has been (along with general life experience) my deepest form of self exploration and learning. And I think that is it`s greatest gift to the practitioner; that beyond the point where one struggles to gain mastery/competence with the tools necessary to work, painting provides one with the time/space/peace/quietude to experience most deeply what one really feels. And then, the opportunity to share that experience with others via the completed work. That of course is the ideal. But whatever the outcome of any specific piece of work, I know for myself, that the greatest part of the endeavor is in the process itself. The real work is the process...the paintings are really the byproduct of that path of self-discovery. The aftermath. So it is from that perspective that I write this handbook to self-discovery. And I write it for those of you who have not maintained an ongoing thread of non-verbal material based learning in their lives. For those who for economic reasons (you can´t make a living with art!), or social reasons (you need a serious career!) were early trained off painting and drawing. For those who put their paints in the closet to use ´´someday´,and who watched them dry up as the years went by. For those who say, after they`ve retired, Ì`ve always wanted to learn to paint`. For those of you who feel the loss. And for everyone else looking for a `hobby`or `leisure-time`activity, this books is most respectfully dedicated to you. I suggest you check the chapter headings, and read what interests you most in the here and now. The rest can wait till you`re excited about that part. This does not have to be a sequential learning experience! Take what you want first!
And come to think of it , that is one of the things I`ve learned from doing lots of paintings. I don`t start from front-to-back, or from back-to-front! I start with the part of the scene that is of the most importance/interest to me. I mean suppose I`m looking at a vase of flowers. And one flower is what is knocking my socks off and providing the impetis (sp?) the motivation, the juice, for the painting in the first place. I start with the flower. I let the whole composition flow from that object that has my most significant attention. It can be anything. It doesn`t matter. And I don`t draw. Because painting is about shape. Drawing is about line. They are not the same thing. And it is an important distinction. If I have to `draw`within a painting, I consider it a weakness or a failing on my part. It is something I endeavor to avoid...and yet, now that we`re talking about it, let`s talk about failing, weakness, and fear. Let me first say that at this point in my life, I give myself full permission to `fail`at every single painting I start. Especially whatever I am doing right now! This is a most important point...crucial I think in keeping one at the forefront of what one knows, at the forefront of one`s ability to explore new avenues, new ideas, fresh thoughts within one`s work. The right to muck this one up. Completely. A total write-off. There is great freedom in that thinking place. Very worth the fear. And let`s talk about fear. There is very little as scary as facing a blank piece of paper/canvas. I know that is an absurd statement on the face of it. But think about it. I mean I`m not talking about dire circumstances, or potential disasters. But in one`s ordinary life, how often does one come face to face with a blankness that can only be filled from one`s internal vision, skill and fortitude? Not often. And if you`ve never done it, try it right now. Take a piece of blank paper...any ordinary paper without lines, and consider creating something to look at on it. Not words. A Picture. If you really do the exercise...I bet you are bound to come in contact with at least fear....if not terror! A student of mine once asked me if one ever gets over feeling afraid in front of a blank canvas...I had to answer, ¨No, but one gets used to feeling the terror.... it becomes familiar. Which is nearly as good. ¨ At any rate in the more than 60 years that I`ve been practicing my craft, that feeling of fear has always preceeded the first stroke of paint. That`s why I give myself permission to fail...it enables me to be bold about what I am doing. To explore my newest and most radical ideas and choices. I want to give you some good tools in the form of exercises and material choices that enable you to do the same. To give yourself permission to `fail`each time you practice, and thus begin to move towards mastering the skills you wish to acquire. And to make those moves with a minimum of expense, and a maximum of satisfaction at what you can achieve rather quickly!
I also long to pass along the expertise I´ve acquired about brushes, and paper, and canvas, and paint, and mediums. I can speak about any one of these areas with great feeling and depth, enough to bore the ordinary person to tears...but you can always stop reading or skip those passages entirely!
And I want to share with you how I check a student`s work, so you can check your own. And some tools that I`ve learned along the way, like the use of a mirror, and the idea that if you`re stuck, you can always get past a sticking place by doing the opposite of whatever you were doing up till now...things like that have been incredibly useful to me throughout my development.
And remember it`s a process! And everybody starts at their beginning. No exceptions.
On Drawing
Everybody, anybody, can learn to draw. And with drawing, most everybody starts out with some of the skills already. That is to say, we àll`know how to hold a pencil (at least for writing) and are familiar with it as an instrument for transposing/transmitting our thoughts to paper in the form of words. Many of us doodle, thus transmitting images in the form of pictures. So we have some familiarity with the skill set necessary for drawing. Therefore, the move to àrt` is not as great a step as working with a brush, and color. But make no mistake! You can start anywhere! Do not proceed further here unless this is the direction you wish to go!
I`ve taught lots of people to draw with the following simple formulas. It comes from something a teacher of mine once said, I believe it was Glenn Vilpuu (sp?) He said, ¨Drawing is just a matter of putting about a mile on your pencil.¨ In case that is not perfectly clear, I will elaborate...what he meant was, that by the time you have drawn enough things to equal about a mile of lead expended in your pencil, (if you straightened out all the curved lines in your drawings), you would be able to draw whatever you want. Of course that statement presupposes a few things. And those few things form the structure of the learning. Here they are: Get yourself a notebook with blank pages. The paper does not have to be anything special. Neither does the pencil. The size should be somewhere between 5¨x 7¨and 9¨x 12¨. Anything larger places too much of a strain on you over time. And this will take time. Here`s the assignment: Every day (or at least 5 out of 7) spend at least twenty minutes drawing something real. We are not talking about fantasy here. We are talking about real objects around your real house, or in your real environment. The objects can be anything. A coffee cup. A pencil. A stapler. A flower. A? You pick something. Anything. And look at it. Carefully. Then try to put it down on paper as accurately as you possibly can. Be kind to yourself about the results...especially at the beginning. (Remember about the importance of being able to `fail`). Start by trying to put down just the `lines`involved. Don`t worry about shading or anything else. Then close the book, put it away, and don`t think about it much. After you`ve done ten days of this, look at your ten drawings and choose one of the following exercises as a form to use for the next ten drawings. Note: When I work with a student, I would usually look at the drawings with the person, and ask the following questions: 1. What do you like most about what you`ve done so far?
2. What would you change if you could?
3. What skill would you like most to add at this point?
The clearer you can answer these questions, the faster you can proceed with your process.
Exercises: All these exercises continue to be about drawing something real. They can be done in any order...whichever appeals to you most in the here and now. You can continue with one as long as you like, you can go back and forth, you can skip some entirely, or at least wait till you want to try that one.
Once you chose an exercise, try at least 10 drawings using it! Remember not everything unveils itself to you at once, and learning to draw is a process that takes time! A mile on your pencil in this fashion, takes about 4 months.
Exercises:
1. Draw whatever, without picking up your pencil from the paper once you have started, until you complete the drawing. Try this method for at least 10 drawings.
2. Draw whatever, without looking at your paper until you are finished. This means that you keep your attention focused on the object you are drawing without removing your eyes from it for even a second. Try this method for at least 10 drawings
3. Draw whatever in concentric circles, try keeping your pencil on the paper, but at all costs, make every mark a series of concentric circles describing the object without using any straight lines. Try this method for at least 10 drawings.
4. Draw whatever by drawing only the negative shapes around the object. This is a toughie at first, but very rewarding, so keep at it! The key here is in the looking. Be precise! And your object will `magically`appear on the page!
5. This is a cousin to number 4, and a more advanced form....here you draw in the surrounding areas and fill them in with whatever is there, stopping at the placeswhere your object starts, and paying attention to the angles at which the intersections take place between your object and the `background`.
MATERIALS
Pencils
I feel a need to write something about pencils. For the purposes of this ´learning to draw´book that you are creating, you can use whatever pencil you have. Try not to use pen. On the other hand, if your choices on a given day(s) is using pen or not drawing,....use the pen. But try to use pencil. And speaking of pencils, I want to ammend something I said earlier. I said we know how to use pencils because of knowing how to hold them to write....well...there are other ways to hold a pencil, and they enable you to get different results. So here`s one: Lay the pencil on the table in front of you place it so the point is facing your right shoulder, and the èraser`end is facing your left shoulder (do exactly the opposite if you are right-handed). In other words, parallel to your body. Now put your 4 fingers on the ´top`of the long side of the pencil, and place your thumb on the underside. The point should now be towards the center of your body, but facing the far wall. That`s it. Now put the side of the lead to the paper, and draw something. Don`t press too hard! Use no more than 5lbs of pressure. Let the wideness of the lead enable you to make thicker lines. Actually you can maneover the lead so that you are sometimes up more towards the `point`of the pencil, and sometimes more on the side. That way you can make long lines of varying thicknesses, you can ´shade´your objects, and generally expand what the pencil can do for you. Feel free to alter the position of your hand on the pencil to suit you. The important part here is to learn to utilize more of the lead.
Okay, so now we´ve talked about using what you have, the ol´ 2B pencil we all used in school. Let´s explore some other options. Add some `luxory´to our kit bag!...buy yourself a drawing pencil. Please note I am saying one pencil. Don´t get carried away and buy a whole raft of expensive pencils of differing harnesses, etc. One pencil. And make it a 4B. Well, if you must insist, you can buy a 6B. But don´t do anything else at this stage! You are just trying to expand your materials a bit...not to flood yourself with stuff you may not even get to after you`ve finished your ´mile´. And don´t worry if the budget won´t handle buying a 4B now...you can do without it...until it fits for you. It´s just a bit ´sexier`` using a softer lead...there´s a bit more of a tactile thrill I think...
Charcoal
I don´t want you to start using charcoal until you`ve got about 1/2 a mile on your pencil. But I do want to mention several things about charcoal. First, from my perspective, so-called ´vine´charcoal is a waste of time and money. That is my opinion, and I`m sticking by it! Having said that, the kind of charcoal that I think provides a rewarding drawing experience, is compressed charcoal. It`s not very expensive, and you may be able to buy a single stick, which is what I would recommend. When trying something new, it always pays to be modest...after all, you don`t know if you`re going to like the experience, do you? However, sometimes they are sold in boxes of three and that`s it. My favorite compressed charcoal comes from Germany. You can approach the stick of compresses charcoal in the variety of ways you understand now from using your pencil. And there is one thing more which I like. Take a piece of sandpaper(one piece from the hardware store)...(number80 to 100 should be perfect) and sand off the coating along about 1/3 of one side of your charcoal....this will help you to begin to enjoy the possibilities of creating shape from your ´line´, and move you further towards painting. Remember no more than 2-5lbs of pressure, or your stick will break! And take at least one page of your notebook and just play with the kinds of strokes you can make...experiment with some of the exercised you´ve already done in pencil...just to see the difference that using a different tool provides. Enjoy!
Rubbing, smudging and erasing
Changing to charcoal opens some other possiblities...try rubbing the charcoal with your fingers to create a different texture on the page. Try smudging a line to soften it. Try mixing the techniques you know to see what happens, and if you like the results. And finally, I think it is legitimate in the case of charcoal, to use one of those grey gummy erasers, the kind you knead with your fingers, to lift some of the charcoal where you feel you overdid it. Try it. But remember! If you don´t like a drawing the way it is, you are better off leaving it alone, and starting another drawing of the same subject, starting fresh, with your ´fresh´new perspective, to put down more of what you meant, but couldn´t quite achieve the first time. You don´t want to be using your eraser to ´fix´a drawing.
12/6/11...I wanted to write something about my last day in Tulum...and it`s a longer story, so I`m putting it here...First I want to say that I was in Tulum for more than a week, and never had a single qualm about anything, at any time of day...so it was with some surprise that Sunday night as I was going back to my hotel, I felt that sudden `frisson`which for me heralds danger. I looked around, but couldn´t see anything, or anyone who stood out. Nonetheless, that is a feeling I pay close attention to...I always have....I realized I had been in Tulum quite some time, by myself, following a very regular schedule (see 12/4 below). Long enough for anyone to be able to predict my movements fairly accurately. I decided it was time to leave. But I needed one more day at the ruins...so I changed my time frames...I got up very early, and instead of eating breakfast, I went straight to the ruins, had breakfast there (before they were actually open!), went to my spot, (which was quite windy, but manageable), I worked from about 8:30am till 11:30, and then went back to town. I stopped at the bank for money, went to my favorite restaurant for a meal (usually I would have just eaten some fruit in my room), then I went to a different restaurant and got a take-out sandwich for dinner, got a take-out cup of coffee, and went back to my room by about 3pm. I didn´t go out again until I went out this morning for breakfast! There were no problems anywhere along the way....and I don`t know if there would have been any if I had gone out last night...but I always listen to that kind of information that seems to come from some sort of `sixth`sense! After breakfast this morning, I returned to my room to finish packing up, and stayed there till it was time to catch the bus to Valladolid! And here I am! So far, safe and sound!
12/4/11---Just thought you might like to know what a typical day it like when I say I am going to the ruins......and why I´m tired after several days of it! Here´s how it goes: I get up at about 6:30am, I re-pack my painting backpack, making sure I have enough water (1 ltr) to paint, and enought water to drink(1ltr). Then I add 2 pieces of fruit, usually a banana and a mandarin orange---which I have carefully washed and left soaking with soap the night before. I pack (in a plastic sleeve), the two paintings I am working on, and one extra piece of paper...just in case an inspiration strikes! I add my camera in its case, my umbrella, my palattes, paints, brushes, empty water container (a plastic glass), rubber ´garden seat´, and I close my pack. Then I dress. I wear long socks,closed shoes, long pants, a loose long sleeved shirt, my fanny pack and security belt, and I bring my large brimmed panama-ish hat. I put my pack on, and walk out the door. It´s now about 7:30am. Either I grab something to eat, or not, but no more than 15min later, I have walked 2blks to the main road where I get on a colectivo (which is a van, serving as a local-to-long-distance bus)for 15pesos, I take a 10-12 minute ride to the road that leads to the ruins. I get off, and walk about a block to where there is a small tractor/train that I pay 20 pesos to ride (there and back) to the entrance. Getting off the train, I walk to the ticket line, pay my 51pesos entrance fee, and walk towards the entrance--probably about another 2 blocks---once I am inside, I walk about 1/2 a mile to the site where I am painting---all this is up hill in the heat. By now it´s about 10am. I paint (if I´m lucky) for 2-3 hours, before I am unable to concentrate further. Then I pack up and do it all in reverse...except when I am returning to town, I must wait on the highway in the sun till a colectivo passes...sometimes it´s quick, sometimes not....I get back to my hotel sometime between 2 and 3pm...and I´m exhausted! When I get back to my hotel, I take off everything I am wearing, and hand wash it all! Then I take a shower and collapse a bit with the TV. By about 6:30pm I am recovered enough to go back to town to find some dinner. Then back to the hotel for more TV and bed by about 10:30pm. After two or three days of this, I need a day of rest!
11/30/11---Properly speaking, this is a story that belongs to another time, and another catagory. The time is China, and the catagory is, ¨Stories for my Grandchildren¨. But I have the time tonight, and I have yet to ask Talia to add a ´button´for me that speaks to that, and this is one story I want to be sure to remember. It has some relevance, in that it is about traveling....I call it, ¨The Best Defence¨. So Ethan, et. al. this is for you!
The BestDefense
This is a story that takes place in the far reaches of China, in a ciy called Chengdu, in the year 1985. I was traveling with your Mother and your Aunt. Talia was 14 at the time and Lisa was 12. We were staying at the JingJang Hotel and there was a park located on the side street accross from the hotel. We went out for a walk in the park late one afternoon, just to have something to do before dinner and to get a bit of exercise. Chinese parks are different from ours...at least this one was different. It was mostly empty of anything much...just short cut grass and long winding paths. We wandered about a bit, mostly bored, when our attention was attracted by a seemingly ramshackle constructed structure made of plywood and various things kind of thrown together. There were people walking towards it and some kind of seating we could see as we approached nearer. We kept walking in that direction trying to see what was going on. Finally we got close enough to see that many people were sitting inside on kind of grandstand seats, with plywood walls curved up the sides , and two motorcycles were racing round the walls and going up the sides very close to where the people were sitting, then going down the walls again and repeating it in another location. One good look was enough for me...it looked too dangerous, and frankly not interesting enough to go in and sit down, so I turned around and began walking away, and your Mothers followed me.
[ In a way, this is where the story begins. You probably know that I have traveled much of the world, and traveled it for the most part, by myself. I have always found it, for the most part to be a friendly and welcoming place. But I believe in taking care of myself , so I have always carried what I think of as a defense system, and certainly on that trip, with your young Mothers in my charge, I knew it was important to have something I could rely on in case we ran into difficulties. So I had my defense system with me, as I do now. But this story from the past is an example of my needing to use it, and very grateful I was that I had it close to hand!]
So, back to the story.... there we were walking away from this odd construction, in the late afternoon, as the sun was going down. All of a sudden an old woman and a couple of old men were chasing after us and shouting things to us (in Chinese of course). We stopped to turn around, but they were angry and none of the three of us understood what they wanted. Meanwhile it began to get darker, and more people, attracted by the shouts of the angry pair, began to collect around us. Pretty soon we were standing in the middle of a crowd of about 15-20 people, all talking to us and to each other in raised voices, and sounding pretty upset with us. We, of course had no idea what was going on---other than that everyone was fairly upset. Suddenly I realized we were in the middle of a park, with the light failing, with a fairly hostile crowd around us. Things were beginning to feel a little dangerous! This was a time when I needed my faithful defense system! So I turned my back towards the crowd, whipped it out, put it on, and turned back to face everyone! There was a sudden shocked pause. A moment of silence as they absorbed what they were seeing...and then.....laughter.....and subsequently a shift in the atmosphere around us....after which......... with Lisa´s help translating, and a friendlier feel to things all around, we were finally able to understand that the old couple were ticket sellers at the motorcycle évent´, and that they wanted us to pay for three tickets (at a cost of about 3 fen apiece = to about one cent for all three), because even though we hadn´t stayed or seated ourselves, we had actually seen the motorcycles. They felt we had cheated them! The gathering crowd were all passerbys who agreed with the ticket sellers! Well, at that point, with much relief, I was able to fish out the appropriate amount of money, hand it over, explain that we hadn´t understood, didn´t mean to cheat them, receive thanks and nods all ´round, watch the crowd around us disperse with smiles, and we were finally able to part with peace once more around us!
But... I tell you there was a moment there where I had a ´frisson´of fear...and I was glad for my system of protection! And what was this magic ingredient that I was able to put into the situation?! It was a bright red foam rubber clown nose! Yep! That´s what I carry wherever I go in the world, and like I say, it has never failed me! Works like a charm! I have it with me now! And as you can see from this story, I am not afraid to use it when I think it´s necessary! As I love you and I want you to be safe wherever you go, I strongly suggest that wherever you travel you follow your Grandmother´s example and make sure you have your own clown nose with you! It´s a good tip! Love, Grandma
11/21/11 Isla Mujeres--Lately I find myself thinking in Spanish. I don´t mean while I am out and about and talking to people, but by myself arranging this or that in my room, I am talking to myself in Spanish---and I almost don´t notice it! And I´ve only been here in Mexico about a week! The strangest part is that it feels very natural. Plus, I am getting lots of good feedback from people here about how good my Spanish is---not that it´s perfect, but that we can carry on a conversation about almost anything, and of course the Mexican people are very generous and polite about helping me to speak more correctly, but nobody seems to mind my mistakes...it all feels pretty good and comfortable....
11-14-11 Isla Mujeres--Well, I got on the boat last night at about 9pm, I hadn´t eaten since about noon, so I bought some crackers and took one of two tables on the boat. I felt a little guilty about taking all that space just for myself, so when a woman walked by, I asked her if she would like to share the table with me---All this is in Spanish of course---she sat down. I asked her if she lived in Ísla´, she said no she was visiting her 32 yr old daughter who was in the hospital, paralyzed from a ´careless´C-section . She was taking her back to Mexico City for hopefully more recuperation--Whew! We had a long conversation--I told her about Tracy and how devistating her death had been, and how important her short life had been to mine. I told her I would pray for her daughter´s recovery, and I have been. And the ferry ride only lasts 40min.! --A lot to take in for openers!
Oh! And I need a place to tell another story...this started in Los Angeles, on the shuttle ride to LAX. There were 3 other people in the shuttle--we got to talking--it turns out they live around here, one in CanCun, and one in Akumal. The lady in Akumal is named Leticia---she gave me her email and phone # and said to get in touch. Then we met up again when both our planes landed nearly at the same time! We all felt like old friends! I emailed Leticia today...I hope I hear from her.
Finally, this afternoon, I walked down to the ´best beach´ (north beach) to look for painting spots---that´s where I found the one I mentioned....everywhere there are ´concessions´ for chair and umbrella rentals, and you can´t sit on that portion of the beach without paying the rental fee---whether you use a chair/umbrella or not! Well I walked a bit and saw an older guy (about my age) sitting by one of these places, so I went up to him and asked how much for a chair & umbrella. He quoted me a price for 2 chairs plus U (M150). I told him I was alone and only needed one chair. I can´t explain exactly what happened, but somehow we saw each other beyond the catagories we were occupying at the time...He said ´M30¨for one chair. I said okay..and in this new format, how much for the umbrella? There was a young guy in his twenties, sitting with him, and he said, $M30! That´s $M60 for both! I turned to him and said, (in a joking, but serious way) Hey! I wasn´t talking to you! This guy was just about to make me a deal--because he sees me and we understand something because we are about the same age---and you´re too young to get into this conversation! We were all laughing by this time...and the older guy finally said okay , I could have both for M50. There was some more joking between the three of us--and I said I would see them tomorrow or the next day.
